Q: Describe your greatest strength?
A: Worrying? Is that a strength?
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Q: What’s your greatest weakness?
A: They seem to work best as a collective.
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Q: Where would you like to be in five years?
A: Out of the way, if I can be.
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Q: If you were an animal, what kind would you be?
A: What’s the smallest animal? Plankton? Plankton, I guess.
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Q: What’s your ideal work environment?
A: That’s a tough one, because I wouldn’t be in it.
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Q: What are your long-term career goals?
A: My goal is to have some long-term goals someday.
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Q: What would your former co-workers likely say about you?
A: Who?
Q: Your former co-workers. The people you used to work with.
A: No, that’s what they’d say. They’d say, “Who?”
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Q: Tell me about a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with that mistake.
A: I came to this interview, and I gave you this answer.
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Q: What would you say has been your biggest challenge, professionally?
A: Doing anything professionally.
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Q: When would you be available to start?
A: The same day I’d be available to leave.