Posted: June 15th, 2010 | Author: Matt Wilson | Filed under: Commentary | 1 Comment »

They say if you do a Twitter Search for Ashton Kutcher three times in a row, he will materialize through the screen of your netbook, steal your car and try to get you arrested in a hilarious fashion.

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Rumor has it that alligators now live in most MySpace Music pages and will jump out after you stream the same song for the tenth time or so.

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Word is that Facebook’s creators keep an actual book with pages made from a growing number of the site’s users’ faces. The users gave the faces to site willingly after they noticed other friends giving their faces away. Facebook named the site after an initial plan to create and keep such a book.

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Anytime someone overtakes another Foursquare user as the mayor of some location, the former mayor is forced to run for Foursquare Senate and/or serve a short stint as the new judge on “The People’s Court,” say people who have seen the service’s secret political bylaws.

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I heard it through the grapevine that Tumblr pays Boy George a royalty each time a user Tumbls for ya.

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The name of the site Yelp is the sound of a lady screaming while being murdered in a grisly fashion on a roller coaster, someone told me one time.

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If you squint really hard, you can see the tortured ghost of Ludicorp, the Canadian company that created Flickr and was later bought out by Yahoo!, in every picture uploaded to the site.

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People in the know say that the LinkedIn you and I see isn’t the real one. You don’t get to see the real LinkedIn site and meet its real members unless you know the best, most effective strategies for synergistic monetizing of digi-markets or become a Mason.

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The “eco-friendly” insecticide virtually every Farmville farmer uses is, in fact, agent orange mixed with animal tears, I hear from a pretty reliable source.

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Word on the street is that each Twitter message you send must first be translated by a captive, cute little blue bird into bird language, colloquially referred to as “Tweet,” before it’s re-translated and spit out back on the website. The birds can only remember so much, hence the character limit. The site will not work without this translation process, according to some technical mumbo-jumbo. This is why Twitter gets overloaded so often – there are only about a dozen birds in the world that can do this, and they also happen to often have to carry a whale around over some orange water for reasons known only to Twitter’s creators.

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There’s some popular speculation that the various spaces on MySpace aren’t in fact yours or mine at all, but are in fact the property of Newscorp, a giant multinational media conglomerate.

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I once heard that this kid, you know, the kid from the Life cereal commercials? He once mixed Pepsi and Facebook and his heart exploded. His iPad got pretty messed up, too.

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Around the way they say that spending your time typing messages about how much pizza you ate for lunch can make you a rich and well-respected superstar.

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