Possible Alternate Titles for “The End”
“Live Together, Die Together”
“Everybody Loves Everybody”
“One Awesome Jump”
“Pantheism, Yes!”
“No Smoking Allowed”
“Unplugging a Giant Stone Bathtub Then Replugging It: ‘Lost’ As a Metaphor For Environmental Sustainability Or Something”
“Sleeping pills : Insomnia :: This : Not Whining”
“We Have Been So High This Whole Time”
“Another Episode”
Spinoff Pitches
“L.A. Hospital”: At the only hospital in Los Angeles, the only doctors, spinal surgeon Jack Shepherd and his father Christian, treat thousands of patients every day and don’t ever sleep. It’s a tough job, but someone with an incredibly overactive sense of responsibility has to do it.
“Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em”: A rambunctious trickster without a name, but who can turn into a smoke monster, scores a tony Manhattan apartment where he hopes to bed a lot of lovely ladies, but it turns out his neighbor is…his striaght-laced brother, Jacob?!? Uh-oh!
“DHARMA”: The inspiring story of how two University of Michigan Ph.D. candidates turned their dream into a thriving community of VW mini-buses, weird research stations and polar bears.
“Widmore U”: Walt Lloyd, now 18, heads off to a local private college named for its biggest donor with the help of a scholarship. There, he has to deal with some crazy professors, juggle a very active love life, try to tone down his habitual showing up in crazy places dripping wet and talking backwards, make sure people don’t see how he makes animals do crazy shit, and deal with post traumatic stress. But that’s just college for you!
“Benjamin Linus, Teen Sleuth”: Young Ben Linus takes it upon himself to solve a few mysteries in the Others’ camp. Mean Richard Alpert doesn’t much like him snooping around, but Ben’s going to get to the bottom of these cases…even if he has to do some dishonest things to get there!
“Life On Mars But This Time With ‘Lost’ Characters”: Detectives James Ford and Miles Straume wake up to find themselves…in the ’70s! They have a funny feeling this has happened to them before, but they can’t figure out why. Anyway, they fight crime and stuff.
How It Should Have Ended
Both battered from their fight, LOCKE and JACK stand on the cliffside, breathing heavily. A grin creeps across LOCKE’s face. He turns into a big cloud of SMOKE.
SMOKE MONSTER/LOCKE
You can’t beat me, Jack! I’m immortal! Invincible! And I’m made of smoke! How are you gonna beat smoke?
JACK
Oh yeah?
JACK winks at the camera before turning into a GIANT ELECTRIC FAN.
JACK
Jacob showed me how to do this before he disappeared. I guess you could say…
The GIANT FAN blows the SMOKE MONSTER into the ocean, where it struggles mightily, disperses, then drowns.
JACK
…I was his biggest fan.
KATE, SAWYER, HURLEY and BEN reach the cliffside to see JACK in his giant fan form. They are astonished.
HURLEY
Dude.
JACK
Pick me up. I need to go to the cave.
Cut to: The glowing cave. The group is setting up FAN-JACK in front of the opening.
JACK
There. That’s good.
With the power of his wind, JACK blows DESMOND out of the cave and moves the big cork back into the big hole in the middle of the pool thingy. DESMOND meets with everyone else and they all hug.
JACK
Let’s go home.
JACK again uses his fan power to blow everyone to the Ajira plane, where FRANK, MILES and RICHARD are ready to leave. He then propels himself there with wind power.
FRANK
Let’s get out of here!
The plane takes off. JACK, now back in human form, looks out the window. Across the aisle, DESMOND looks at JACK with a strange glare. His eyes turn into black smoke. Hurley’s do, too.
LOST